It's so silly to think that a song could make such a difference in life. Ridiculous, like the way humming in the winter mysteriously warms your whole body.

Maybe I should give you some background, so you can understand. I grew up in a house without music. No, that's not a metaphor. There was no music allowed in my house as a child. My mother hates sound. My father's job made it so he kept late hours and would travel a lot, but whenever he was home and my mom wasn't, we'd crank up the music real loud. There was something real freeing about being able to make as much noise as you want. I'd spin myself silly to Clapton, Hendrix and Dylan and I'd just eat it all in. I had this habit of getting whatever I ate up all over my face, like peanut butter on my forehead and man, after a dancing around for awhile, you could see bits of solid lyrics and guitars solos framing my shit eating grin.
Fifteen years later and nothing much has changed.

It's been a long hard day, but today I found a new song. You know the kind I mean, the ones where you don't even have to wait for the words to start. You're in it. You're sucked in by everything about it and suddenly your eyes are close and you're breathing in time to the beat. You getting an all natural endorphin induced euphoria on par with snow days, telling a crush how you feel or finding out its tofu Tuesday (ok, so maybe the last one is only me, but you get the idea). This song has got everything I'm looking for: amazing instrumentals, vocals that deliver lyrics with actual meaning and the beat that speeds up your heart and slows down your breathing. And for someone who has so much trouble committing to relationships with people, I've fallen in love with the sounds again.

I guess all I'm trying to say is after an interminable day, like today was, we have to find some sort of meaning in what we’re doing. And if you're like me, not quite sure that the work you do has any sort of meaning, you have to find some other sort of connection with the world. I think I've found mine.

Doo dah di dooooo.

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In The News:
Bush finally admits that we're in economic trouble. Finally. He says that we're going through a 'rough patch,' but can't say the big dirty word, "RECESSION." Don't worry, whether you, Mr. Bush, or the press adbide by those lovely politically correct terms or not, the rest of us are saying it. RECESSION, RECESSION!

Get Cultured: Latin Phrase of the Day:
hince illae lacrimae (trans. hence those tears)

From Terence, Andria, line 125. Originally literal, referring to the tears shed by Pamphilus at the funeral of Chrysis, it came to be used proverbally in the works of later authors, such as Horace (Epistula XIX, 41). (courtesy of wikipedia.org)

Word of the Day:
carmine

Pronunciation: ˈkär-mən, -ˌmīn
Function: noun
Etymology: French carmin, from Medieval Latin carminium, perhaps ultimately from Arabic qirmiz kermes + Latin minium cinnabar
1 : a rich crimson or scarlet lake made from cochineal
2 : a vivid red
(courtesy of m-w.com)

College Life

At our worst moments, I think we all go back to the beginning. At our lowest, we are reduced to our original state, our most feral state.

That's where we find me now, munching on Cheerios, watching Scrubs. As the tiny cuts in the roof of my mouth sting with my next mouthful of happy little 'o's, I remind myself to drink more liquids when I eat dry cereal. Here I find myself at 11:30 p.m., in my crumb filled bed, in a world I feel will mostly likely fall apart at any minute, eating the only comfort food I can find in my cabinets.

Here's the thing they never prepared me for in college: the constant gut wrenching feeling of failure. And ironically enough, I know deep down inside, I'm not. It's like looking at models in Vogue feeling guilty for eating an extra doughnut at lunch. It's so unrealistic to think that I should, can or ever will look like that, but you still can't help but feel a little guilty. Just the same, a full-fledged five page resume in tandem with a lovely 4.0 GPA, oh right, let me just laugh in your face now.

I've come off another late night of working for the newspaper, studying and generally panicking about my entire future. I'm working with five hours of sleep from the night before and I'll probably only get four tonight. But seriously, fuck it. When else will I ever get time to unwind?

Speaking of which, I'm making a wish list of the things I would like to have. This is an online journal. I’m going to let the little high school sophomore come out and whine away.

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So in conclusion, (the phrase my English teacher cringe to see at the end of essays) in an effort to make myself more educated, I'll include some fun facts at the bottom of my entries. That way, we all can learn!

News:
Spitzer Swallows? (courtesy of The Daily Show)
Governor of New York is allegedly caught with his hand in the proverbial cookie jar. The Sheriff of Wall Street was, according to reports, trapped by his own wiretapping in soliciting for prostitutes. For a man who ran on ethics, the irony is suffocating.
(nytimes.com)

Cultural Side Note:
Godwin's Law
Mike Godwin hypothesized in 1990 that in online forums, the longer an argument continued the more likely it was that a reference to Hitler or Nazis would come up. The person who generally raises this corollary both loses the argument and ends the thread. Ridiculous? I thought so too.
(wikipedia.org)

Vocabulary (my new favorite word):
quixotic, adj.

Etymology: Don Quixote

Date: 1718 1: foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals; especially : marked by rash lofty romantic ideas or extravagantly chivalrous action
2: capricious, unpredictable
(m-w.com)